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Mourning Ozzy Osbourne

  July 22, 2025 A day that will forever mark the saddest chapter in this metalhead’s soul. The Godfather of Heavy Metal. The Prince of Darkness. The legendary Ozzy Fucking Osbourne took his final breath in this world. With an earbud tucked in, a specific song on cue, a cigarette newly lit, and a colander in hand, I stepped out into the garden. Dixie trotted along behind me, blissfully unaware of the storm inside me. News had just broken—fresh, barely 30 minutes old. Ozzy was gone. Really gone. And suddenly everything felt off. This was real. This was happening. This was goodbye. Just 17 days after the biggest farewell concert ever... NO. NO. NO. YES. The first riffs cracked through my earbud and the tears came like a flood. I knew—this was my moment to mourn. To feel. To honor. To grieve in true Ozzy fashion—raw, unapologetic, and reverent. The man who made the darkness something to embrace. Who made bats cool (just don’t bite them). Who taught us it’s perfectly a...
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I need to work on learning something new, or practice something I am already learning.

 I need to work on learning something new or practice something I am already learning. July 7. 2024 That's when I wrote the title for this post.   3 months ago.  In these past 3 months a lot has happened, we went from the blazing long days of summer to the shorter cooler days of fall, light jackets and hoodies are coming out and October is here. Harvest is in full swing, farmers are in the fields, and the trees are changing colors more and more every day. I also started crocheting for the first time in about 6 years. I tackled a large project first and foremost, thinking that it would be easy, and it would all come back to me. Boy was I wrong, but I figured out my mistakes and have learned what I have done wrong. Since then, I have been a little crocheting machine. I have made several throw sized afghans, a couple of vests, and now I have a poncho on my hooks. I have refound my, love for my fiber craft. I am quite limited, I only have 2 different sized hooks, and a h...
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I need to write,...

 I need to write, I know its been a minute, but honestly,  I haven't felt that there was anything important to write about. I am not an interesting person, not one to have an interesting topic to talk about, just kinda a nerd in my own right. I have knowledge of a lot of things, but they are things most people aren't interested in. I let ideas come to me, and they were coming freely, I write freely here. What's on my mind, what I am feeling, and what I think about. I have had some ask me, or really tell me, that its like reading your diary. I dont know if that is what I want this to be, but I want it to be what it is. maybe these are the times I need to dig harder, maybe these are the times I am suppressing something, maybe this is when I just need something, someone, I dont know. But here I am. 
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I wish I could disconnect from social media for good.

I really wish I could get rid of all, or at least most of my social media accounts. They are so horrible for your, ok, I promised to be as real as I can be here, MY mental health. On any of your random Spacebook threads you can find so much negativity, hate, criticism, and it's just draining. It's truly sprit and soul draining. I have a few social media platforms I am active in, and they have different things followed in them. I try to have at least one that is "good" and full of just my interest, that I try to be pretty quiet in. It is where I go at night to read. So, it's not too bad. About the only problem I have with letting go of my Spacebook account is my games.   I admit I am a gamer girl.  Yes, there it is...there is a nerd alert.  I can and do at times sit all day long, playing a game on my phone or my laptop. Depending on what device I am playing on is what I like to play. These days if I am on my phone, I am playing Monopoly Go. I am one of the billion ...
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Why is it so bad?

 I recently talked to a friend of mine I haven't spoken to in a while. I haven't been one to reach out to anyone in months. I don't even leave my house unless I have to. When I do, I am not out for long.  My friend offered to meet for dinner that night, the offer was nice, however we declined. When I told my friend that I haven't been out of the house, nor really talked to anyone in months, he replied, that's not good.  I don't know what he is really meaning by that, I have found that is has been quite peaceful. The more I have stayed in my home, with my love, and our menagerie of animals, the quieter and more peaceful my life and mind has been. I am not carrying the weight of other people's worries. I am not hearing the gossip and drama, of others, nor am I being involved in the continuance of it. I am not being looked at to fix things that are not up to me to fix. I am not putting others above myself.   I can worry about me and what is important to me. I c...
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Put your EYES on your friends that struggle.

This morning, I was cruising the Spacebook as I usually do, and saw a post a friend had posted. In the post, a picture of a sink loaded with dirty dishes are seen, counter tops need to be cleaned, and I am sure trash needs to be taken out along with a lot of other household chores. My friend captioned the post saying Her dishes because clearly, she needs help and I'm already wishing she would've asked me for it.    It made me look at the stack of dishes I have that need done. Almost every plate we own is dirty, a lot of silver wear, and random pots and pans. It made me think of the handful plus of dog hair that was raked off the living room floor yesterday, and the stack of dirty laundry in our bathroom, along with the numerous other household chores that are behind. I commented to her post with Would you like to see my kitchen?   Sometimes we have to listen closer to our friends we know struggle. As that friend, it's so hard to say... I need help. It makes us feel e...
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Location: Keystone, IN 46759, USA
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A view of my depression..

It's been about 2 weeks since I've washed my hair. Probably been about that long since I have run a brush through it. I don't have the type of hair that gets super oily easily. So, I can get away with not washing my hair probably longer than most can it's a bonus for my depression.  Maybe about halfway through that 2-week timeframe, this board straight bleach blonde hair of mine was just bothering me. Brushing my neck, tickling my ear, giving me the feeling that something was crawling on me. So up into a bun it went. I don't wear my hair up often, ok I can rephrase that to almost never, if my hair is up, it's probably mid-July or August and I am just so stinking hot I can't stand it anymore. that's usually the only time I wear it up. After about a week, it's a semi tangled mess, but I do enjoy the volume it gives unbrushed, and the texture of the tangles helps to hold an updo. I usually don't roll it to tight, nor do I sinch it to my head tight. ...
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